“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matt 5:4 ESV).

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and I had the opportunity to reflect on what an incredible mother my children have. It brings me great joy to play back the last twenty years in my mind and replay how my children have grown – because of their mother. In scripture, we see that God likened Himself to a mother:

“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem” (Is. 66:13 ESV).

Every Mother’s Day, I also reflect on the forty years I had with my mom. Some may say that forty years is a long time, but for me, it wasn’t long enough. She had me at a young age (17) and passed far too young (57). She married my dad two months before I was born, then left her country, and her family, for a land across the ocean, where she could not speak the language. Raising a child – with another soon on the way – in this new land could not have been easy. She even learned another language. (I grew up speaking two, Dutch and English.)

The reflection makes me sad, for I know I’ll be making no more memories with my mom. And even though I’ve been without my mom for 15 years, I still shed a tear or two on Mother’s Day. I’m still sad – and it’s OK to be sad.

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Eccl. 3:4 ESV).

My mom liked to laugh, and she liked to dance (and sing), so the thought of never hearing that laugh or a song from her voice – or seeing her dance – saddens me. I’m sad because my children will never remember their grandmother as I knew her. I’m still sad. And it’s OK to be sad.

Many grieve in different ways, and God gives us permission to be sad, to grieve in our way, to grieve in our time. Words that do not help include “It’s been long enough,” “It’s time to move on,” “You are not being rational,” and “This will pass,” among others. For those who grieve, simply walk with them, love them, and show them the way. Show them the way of the Christ. Let’s not forget that Jesus wept.

I’m thankful for these 40 years of memories. And I get to make many more years of memories with the mother of my children. Every Mother’s Day will bring its bitter-sweetness to me, and I’d have it no other way. Both the joy of memories and the pain of making no more are surpassed by the knowledge that I will see my mom again in our eternal home.

Fifteen years later, the pain is still real. It still hurts, but hope in the Eternal brings me comfort.

This song [below] is a special one that my mom loved, and every time I hear it, it brings both a tear and a smile.

“Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever” (1 Thes. 4:17 NLT).

"One Day at a Time"