“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Tim. 1:7 ESV).
I’ve relished pressure. Thrived on it. Saw the goalie’s fear when I got to take a penalty shot in overtime. Saw the trembling pitcher when I’ve been at bat with the winning run on base. I’ve walked into interviews, knowing that if they did not choose me, they must be getting a superior employee indeed! The pressure boosts my confidence. I feel like the Batman, and nothing can stop me. But there have been other times when the exact opposite has happened, and I want to share three of them with you.
I was in my early twenties, feeling pretty good about my salesman abilities. I had a meeting with an Irving manager to discuss their large computer purchase (for he represented a few Irving companies). When I arrived, I discovered I was actually meeting with four people: his boss, his boss’s boss, and Mr. Irving. I was like a flustered Bilbo Baggins with this unexpected party (Hobbit fans will understand this reference). Two minutes into my sales pitch, I started coughing uncontrollably. Mr. Irving got up and left, and I knew I’d lost the sale. His time was too valuable to meet with a young “wet-behind-the-ears” salesman. In two minutes, my confidence was shot. But, about two minutes later, Mr. Irving returned with a glass of water and sat down. I drank some water, some confidence returned, and I completed the sales pitch. A very large order was received later that week. Mr. Irving had the power to devastate a young man’s career, yet chose to serve instead.
Fast-forward – I’m in my forties. I’m working in the corporate world full-time and pastoring a small church part-time. I’m in my first year of a three-year pastoring program. And I felt I had no idea what I was doing. One Sunday morning, I’m getting ready to preach, and in walks one of my instructors, Mr. Dean MacDonald. I’d not even been preaching for six months, and I knew I was in trouble with an expert preacher present. As I preached, Dean continually scribbled notes. As I spoke, I kept telling myself these notes were not going to be a good thing. After the service, I went to Dean to take my “punishment” (criticism). He said, “Thank you for your words this morning. I took a lot of notes, and your teaching was very insightful.” These kind words carried me in that ministry for a long time. Dean had the power to stop a pastor’s career in its tracks, but instead, he chose words of kindness.
“Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with my victorious right hand” (Is. 41:10 TLB).
Fast-forward again! – This past Saturday night, I recorded a video for Palm Sunday. What many of you don’t know is that – uncharacteristically – I was gripped with fear. Just like the other two experiences, it seemed as though I were under the influence of the “Scarecrow’s gas” (another Batman reference). Three minutes into the recording, I started to cough uncontrollably (Irving flashbacks!), and I had to stop the video. I deleted it, tried to start again, and couldn’t. It took me over an hour to get the nerve to record it, and then I refused to watch it. Sunday morning, I asked Leona to view it to make sure it had some semblance of “OK-ness” before it was posted. (I was too nervous.) She posted it, and the viewers said it was nothing but encouraging, and I thank you all for it.
In each of these three scenarios, my confidence rose, not because of any cockiness (as was the case in my sports example), but only because of the encouragement of others. We are usually presented with three options when we encounter someone who is clearly fearful about trying something new, (and only one of them is the right response).
1) Show frustration and comment on that frustration.
2) Be frustrated and show patience (keeping our unkind thoughts to ourselves).
3) Share kindness in word and deed.
Always pick “door number three” (Monty Hall reference). Jesus was kind. See how he treated the tax collector, the unclean woman who touched him, the leprous man, and the woman at the well? We get to choose. I’m blessed to have experienced the kindness of people through word and deed, and to benefit from the effect they’ve had on my confidence. But for the grace of God, go I. And because of this grace, I will choose door number three.
“Treat others as you want them to treat you” (Luke 6:31 TLB).
