“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath” (Ps. 34:18 MSG).
April 19, 2020 News: The largest mass shooting in the history of this great country (currently 17, plus an RCMP officer).*
As this news came out, it felt like a kick in the gut. If this were going to happen, it would happen in Toronto, Montreal, or Vancouver. Right? No way could this happen in our quiet little province of Nova Scotia. My gut hurt! So many emotions .…
First, it was one of disbelief and confusion – as the death toll continued to rise. This cannot be happening. The senselessness of it all was baffling!
Next, an overwhelming sense of anger rose up. When I read others' reactions and comments – “I hope he rots in hell!” – they fueled my anger towards the perpetrator even more. (NOTE: Facebook is not the best place to be when you are emotionally charged.)
Eventually, my emotions transitioned into an incredible sense of sadness. Sadness for the RCMP officer and her family. Sadness for the families of those affected by the massacre. Sadness for the communities and the people of Nova Scotia – and even sadness for the family of the man committing these crimes. These emotions were like a tidal wave, but I’ve learned to stay away from posting anything during these emotions (although the pull to lash out publicly was very strong).
Today, I’m no longer experiencing that flood of emotions. Yes, there is still a lingering sense of anger, and the grief will take some time to subside. Coincidentally, I was living in Moncton during a similar lockdown – when a militant sniper managed to kill three RCMP officers – and I experienced a similar wave of emotions. But the day after, something else rises up: resilience. The resilience that can only come from the existence of a loving, merciful God.
“How true it is, and how I long that everyone should know it, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—and I was the greatest of them all” (1 Tim 1:15 TLB).
As I think about yesterday’s “rot-in-hell” comment, I can understand the sentiment, yet I cannot go there. Was I not the greatest sinner of them all? Yet God had mercy on me? There was a time in which I was destined to rot in hell for my transgressions, so I cannot wish that on the one who committed these horrible actions. When I think about this tormented soul, and what could have driven him to this carnage, a sense of pity comes over me. If only the Spirit of God were living within him.
If only the Spirit of God were living within him.
But I know his soul is in the hands of our creator. I also pray for the souls who were taken far too soon – and once again, I trust in the justice of our Heavenly Father.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom. 6:23 TLB).
On another note, I read another set of comments yesterday, surrounding the theme of hope: “I have no more faith in humankind”; “All hope is lost”; “People disgust me”; and so on. But we’re a resilient race, and all hope is not lost. Let’s take our cue from those brave servants of Canada, the RCMP, who woke up today with heavy hearts – yet one of their first acts was to head out the door to serve & protect us. They have not lost hope.
It’s not people who are disgusting (we are created in the image of God), it’s our sinful nature that is disgusting. And despite this depraved nature, we have incredible hope in the cleansing power of Jesus. Sometimes, we need to be reminded that this cleansing power is for all, even for the ones we don’t think should deserve it. I did not deserve it, yet here I am, a servant of God – pastoring a flock in His name.
I encourage each of you to look into the promises of God. There are far too many – over one thousand – to list here. Today, please do not go to Facebook for your emotional fuel. Go to God’s Word for the encouragement found in His promises. Just think, If Jesus can save a man possessed by a legion of demons (Mark 5, Luke 8), He can save anyone!
A promise: “After you have suffered a little while, our God, who is full of kindness through Christ, will give you his eternal glory. He personally will come and pick you up, and set you firmly in place, and make you stronger than ever” (1 Pet. 5:10 TLB).
A promise: “Sarah, too, had faith, and because of this she was able to become a mother in spite of her old age, for she realized that God, who gave her his promise, would certainly do what he said” (Heb. 11:11 TLB).
A promise: “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Is. 40:31 TLB).
A promise: “Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” (Rom. 5:5 TLB).
A promise: “And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into his plans” (Rom. 8:28 TLB).
This RCMP tribute by the 2014 Royal Nova Scotia International Tattoo seems fitting today:
* April 22, 2020, update: 22 victims, including 1 RCMP officer; 1 perpetrator killed.